# Circle of Control

> Sort what's bothering you by how much of it you can actually change.

Chapter II, Decision making · 2.16 · Origin: Stephen Covey, after Epictetus (1989) · Time: 10 to 20 min · Solo

**Use it when** worry is spread across things you cannot change.

Interactive workspace: https://kogu.tools/tools/circle-of-control

## Abstract

A lot of what we worry about is out of our hands, and it still takes as much attention as the things we could fix this afternoon. This tool sorts the two. In the middle go your own actions and responses. Around them go things you can influence but don't decide. The outer ring holds whatever you can't touch.

Epictetus opened his Handbook by saying that some things are up to us and some aren't. Stephen Covey drew the same idea as circles of concern and influence in 1989. He noticed that people who work on the inner circle usually find it gets bigger over time.

## Method

1. **Name the situation.** Write down what's bothering you in one sentence.
2. **Get everything out.** List every worry, deadline and person involved before you start sorting.
3. **Put each item in a ring.** Control means you decide it. Influence means you can affect it. Everything else is concern. Be strict about what goes in the middle.
4. **Work ring by ring.** Write an action for each control item and a way to nudge each influence item. For concerns, decide to stop spending time on them.
5. **Check where your attention goes.** If most of your energy goes to the outer ring, pick one action from the middle that you can do today.

## When to use it

- You're anxious about a situation with lots of moving parts.
- A team keeps coming back to things it can't change.
- Before a hard conversation, to work out which part is yours.

## Common pitfalls

- Putting other people's choices in the middle ring. You control what you ask for and how you react. What they do is up to them.
- Writing off concerns completely. Some deserve a backup plan in case they happen.
- Underestimating influence. A conversation with the right person can move more than you'd expect.
- Sorting everything and then doing nothing with it.

## References

- Epictetus. (c. 125). Enchiridion (The Handbook), section 1.
- Covey, S. R. (1989). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Free Press.